My Love/Hate Relationship With Goal Setting

The Desert of Arizona
Sunny 37 Degrees

RE: My love/hate relationship with goal setting.

I remember reading a book by Robert Kiyosaki years ago (not sure which one) where he told the story of going off to some remote cabin and figuring out what he wanted to do with himself.

He told the story of how he set some goals and wrote the book (Rich Dad, Poor Dad) that made him famous.

I remember just how exciting that sounded–almost like a storybook, rags-to-riches story.

You go away and set the course for your life and then you come back and “make it happen.”

My experience with setting goals hasn’t quite been that way.

You could say I have a love/hate relationship with goal setting the way most people think about it.

As I grow up, I’m far less egotistical about what I control in my world and what I do not control.

Most of it is well outside my control. And that’s why I’ve (SLOWLY, mind you) learned how to live in a state of surrendering to what is.

There is enormous power in surrender. There is far less power in needing things in your world to go a certain way. But we weren’t taught about that.

We were taught that winners “make things happen.” We were taught to take our life in our hands and be “proactive.”

Bleh… I think that’s tiring.

My goals are focused on INPUTS. Those are the things that are well in my control.

I have no idea if I’ll make a zillion dollars this year, but I do know that I can sit down and write an email every morning.

And I know that I can write a premium newsletter every month.

And I know that I can write articles and send them in to various places for publication. And that I can commit to spending time with my kids.

But what comes of those things is not something I’m going to place my energy on worrying about.

The universe has made it abundantly clear that I am not here to run the show. I am here to learn from the show.

So instead of thinking I control the world, I’m learning to be a smart passenger. You might think that sounds like a rather passive role to play, but it’s not. In fact, it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever tried to do.

So the “goals” I set are more like practices. I’m far more concerned with ingredients, not with what the cake looks like. In life, I don’t really get to say what the cake looks like.

I used to kid myself into believing I did, but now I know the truth.

I’ve learned that the way not to drive myself crazy is to set an intention and then simply focus on the action I’m taking. It might lead to realizing my ultimate intention or it might not.

Either way, I reach my “goal” because the goal was the INPUT… it was the doing of the thing… not getting somewhere because of it.