The Desert of Arizona
Partly Cloudy 63 Degrees – 6:04 a.m.
I wasn’t really a confident kid. At least not on the inside.
Sure, I did things that scared me to death (like playing music in front of tons of people.) I got in the habit of doing those things. So after a while, it was just a normal part of life. Not a pleasant part, just a normal part. So maybe that looked like confidence on the outside.
But inside, it was a different matter. It was a land of fear in search of relief. Getting people to like me, validate me, offer me accolades was the drug that provided that temporary (and fake) relief.
But now, I’ve begun to see just where confidence comes from.
It doesn’t come from achievement.
It doesn’t come from experience.
It doesn’t come from knowing you’re better than someone else.
All of those things are fleeting and not much of a foundation.
Experience is valuable, but there are tons of experienced people with ZERO confidence.
Confidence comes from an alignment between how you carry yourself in the world and who you are.
And it comes with your ability to OWN every aspect of you FULLY.
If you’ve never done that, I recommend it. It is liberating. And it will build confidence.
When YOU are ok with YOU, the center of power in your universe shifts to YOU.
This is not an event, by the way. It’s a process we decide to stop or continue pretty much every moment of every day.
But we’re taught that we have “secrets” that should be covered up. We’re taught we have weaknesses we should pretend don’t exist. We’re taught that there are parts of us that should be hidden from view.
Do you know why we’re taught this? Because when we go out into the world as a “fake” version of ourselves, it makes everyone needy. We’re needy because we’ve given our power to be “ok” to some external force that’s telling us how WE should be. And needy people will listen to, submit to, and be molded by “authority.”
Is that how you want to live? If not, then stop it.
The the next time you come up against a part of you the world has told you “shouldn’t be there,” just relax into it, OWN it, and then watch what it feels like to stop giving your power away to others.