Over the course of my career as a freelancer, there’s been one issue that has caused me more angst than just about any other.
It’s not “closing the deal”… I’ve repeatedly proven to myself and others that I’m pretty darn good at that.
It’s not communicating the value I provide in order to charge larger than average fees… I really excel at that too.
And it’s certainly not creating an awesome positioning when dealing with prospects… that I find a whole lot of fun.
The hardest part, at least for me, has been developing the thick skin required to completely ignore any criticism I receive along the way.
As you become more and more successful and visible, the amount of that begins to rise. If you actually stand for something, I figure you get about 10X what everyone else is getting.
“Eh, that thing you wrote… it’s OK… pretty good… yada, yada… sorry, this isn’t really what I wanted… yada, yada… I just don’t like it.”
Call it the product of my childhood or simply my special “opportunity” to deal with during this lifetime, sometimes I come down with a bad case of “thin skin disease.”
I let it get to me… sometimes.
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Actually, I DO think it is a habit that I developed in my previous life as a professional musician. When you’re studying with a world class teacher at a level like that, your life is often simply one criticism after another.
And you pay a TON of money for the privilege! A bit sadistic if you ask me.
“You have to do it THIS way…”
“You can do better than THAT…”
“That wasn’t your best performance…”
“How are you going to get this piece of music together in time?”
Criticism, criticism, criticism…
And that’s only the “abuse” from the people on the outside! You should hear the conversation that’s going on in MY head!
At that point in my life, I cared about every little piece of criticism I received. I got into the habit of swallowing that stuff WHOLE. I THOUGHT that’s how you got better. I thought that I was being a good student.
Turns out I was being a wuss.
Thin skin disease is kind of the status quo in this world. Everyone cares what everyone else thinks.
When I jumped shipped from the music world, a lot of this bad habit stuck around. I’ve been doing my best to eradicate it ever since.
Let me tell you, it’s a habit that is too darn expensive to support. If you support a habit like this, I don’t have to tell you that.
You create success from the inside out. This is NOT empty new age theory crap that you see all over.
I’m serious.
You are in the driver’s seat of your life. Success will never come and find you. No one cares enough about you to come and anoint you the king or queen.
You are in control. EVERYTHING in your life comes from your thoughts, beliefs and actions. Period.
So you have to STOP giving attention to the criticism you receive. If it’s dead on, fix it. If it’s wrong, don’t even bother acknowledging it.
If you don’t know if it’s right or wrong, err on the side of ignoring it.
Why?
Because it’s someone else’s opinion. And those are none of your business. Making those things your business slows you down. If you’re busy giving energy to dealing with the criticism (even emotionally, on the inside) then you’re NOT busy doing something that’s actually going to move you forward.
This is key.
It’s not about being a jerk. You don’t have to TELL anyone you’re ignoring them, just do it quietly.
Doing well in this business is still about SERVICE. You serve your client. That’s something you never want to forget.
But like just about everything in life, you control what you put in, not what comes out.
So when you do your best and your client thinks it sucks, get over it.
As an independent professional, it’s easy to let that stuff bother you. Most of us don’t sit there with constant access to a mentor that can slap us in the face and say:
“Wake up man… are you REALLY going to let the words and opinions of ONE person even create a tiny little speed bump on your journey to success?”
Well, consider this your slap in the face if you need it. If not, just save this email for the day you do.
[SLAP]
There… I feel better already.