The Client Letter
September 2, 2013
The Desert of Arizona
Sunny 68 Degrees
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I was in Denver last week for a meeting and had a pretty eye opening experience the last night I was there.
We were at dinner (I had the crab cakes) and chanced upon the bar area playing host to a Match.com mixer event for singles in their 50s, 60s and beyond.
Now this isn’t exactly my crowd, but it was something to watch. A whole lot of different approaches for how to go about meeting people.
One man, in particular, jumped out at me, but not in a good way. He would directly (and abruptly) approach someone he wanted to meet and end up getting so close to them that it made your hair stand up on the back of your neck.
You know those “close talkers” that get just a little too close for comfort? Well this guy was 10 times as bad.
If you know much about attraction, this isn’t the way to go about things.
Attraction 101: they come to you.
Pursuing things tends to activate the “flee” gene and whatever you’re going after starts to run away.
It doesn’t matter if you’re trying to attract a woman, a man, a client or anything else, this is how it works.
Certain rules apply. If you break them, you might still get lucky and have things work out. (I did, as you’re about to discover.) But more often than not, breaking these “universal” rules just results in frustration.
If you’re not attracting clients, then you’re probably just not playing by the rules of the universe. The good news is you can change anytime. The bad news is, someone generally has to tell you about these rules.
That guy at dinner the other night reminded me of me back when I too was clueless about attraction.
A good example of just how clueless I was involves a story about when I first met my wife. To say I was a little bit green in the woman attraction department would have been an understatement.
And to be honest, “clueless” doesn’t really adequately describe me at the time either.
But an attraction master I was not. I was pretty much like the guy from the Match.com event. (Although, in the interest of fairness, I’m much better looking 🙂