The Client Letter
November 15, 2013
The Desert of Arizona
Cloudy 54 Degrees
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It’s natural to want to help people. And if you’re in the service business, you’re probably hard wired to actually enjoy the feeling you get when you provide assistance.
I know I am. I get a little bit of a rush when I help someone accomplish something.
Being helpful is a nice thing to do. But when you get addicted to that rush of good feeling that comes from it, you can start down a path that leads to serious frustration.
What in the world does this have to do with client work?
When you can’t resist your urge to “save the day,” you end up taking on things that are not yours to take on.
This is dumb 🙂
A few years ago, I hired a woman to give me some advice about my life and my business.
I didn’t really have to explain a whole lot about myself to her because her skill was an ability to already know about me at a very deep level after asking only a few questions. Actually, she needed 3 pieces of information. No, she wasn’t psychic. She was using science to get her information.
It was kind of amazing really. And I’m sure I’ll tell you more about it at some point in the future.
For today, I just want to share one of the things she said during our conversation.
We were talking about working with clients and she said something like, “The question you need to ask yourself over and over as issues enter your life is this one: Is this my problem?“
I have a natural urge to want to solve problems. I also have a natural urge to want to solve problems that aren’t mine to solve.
This is a recipe for misery in the client business.
Take a look at your work with clients. Are you solving problems that aren’t yours? Are you taking on things that you should not be dealing with? Are you giving in to the urge to “save the day” and hurting yourself in the process?
It took me a while to realize that my urge to save the day was little more than my need to be recognized. I’d like to say I’m just inherently nice, but really… it just made me feel important.
The problem with giving into this urge to solve problems that are not ours is that it can lead to an erosion of our boundaries.
Boundaries are what you need to preserve your sanity and the profitability of your business.
Most all of my client frustrations have been caused, in part, by fuzzy or non-existant boundaries.
Get clear on where your problems begin and where they end.
Get clear on where your responsibilities start and stop.
Get clear on what you do want to do and what you don’t want to do.
And once you get clear, then do your best to make those boundaries known to the world. You have to tell them, they can’t read your mind.
No one can do this for you. But the minute you start, you will begin to feel free. You will begin to feel in control. If you need help getting started, try this.