Building the Circle of Trust

February 20, 2012
Sedona, Arizona

I’m have to apologize for all of the old movie references in today’s issue. I have a good reason for it…

First, I spent the years 1995-1999 locked away in a practice room at music school.

My popular culture cosumption during those years… nada.

While most college kids were out partying, I was worried about the articulation in my playing and my next upcoming performance.

(OK, so I was a nerd.)

I had a few “good years” after that, where I dulled my brain on a regular basis with the junk that passes on TV for entertainment (they don’t call it PROGRAMMING for nothing folks).

Then, in 2006, I threw the TV out of my house. “Threw out” as in gone, kaput, never coming back.

The withdrawal was not pleasant.

In particular, not being able to waste away my Saturday and Sunday afternoons watching a bunch of guys hit golf balls on the screen. That was tough.

In the end, I got over it.

And so my life up to this point has been a (mostly) gentle progression from what I would call “loser” to “winner.”

Based on all current intelligence I have access to, there’s no end in sight.

Unfortunately, there’s one area of my self-development where I haven’t done so well.

That’s the area described by Robert De Niro as the “Circle of Trust” from Meet the Fockers in 2004.

First of all, I don’t have many close friends. Call me antisocial if you want.

I can “turn it on” when I have to, but I don’t find social situations with too many people energizing. I find them draining.

Give me a quiet dinner (make sure there’s some good wine please) with one or two close friends and I’ll take that anyday.

My “Circle of Trust” needs to grow and improve on a regular basis.

I’ve realized that I don’t surround myself with enough people who are already traveling on the road I walk on everyday.

You see, I’m what you might call a “helper.” I get satisfaction from helping to WAKE PEOPLE UP. Whether that’s in life or in business.

It’s not that I think I’m better than others. But I like to “help” and so I think my natural inclination is to search out people I can help.

When I come upon an opportunity to help someone, it makes me feel good to do that.

That’s fine. Opportunities to help are good. But opportunities to help are not always the opportunities I need to grow.

I need to make it a habit to set things up so I’m consistently the dumbest and least “successful” person in the room. By successful I mean, someone who’s done some of the things I want to do.

Being in situations like that is how I grow.

It’s kind of like Matt Damon in the 1997 movie Good Will Hunting.

The guy surrounded himself completely with people that didn’t challenge him.

They were great friends (which is important), but they didn’t provide an opportunity to grow (which is also important).

I’m not scared of being pushed (OK, maybe a little), it’s more that I just don’t make a conscious effort to put myself in those situations enough.

So that is going to change.

How’s your “Circle of Trust?” Is it big enough? Does it challenge you to grow?

Before you start your day today, I’d recommend you take a minute and read this newsletter where Gary Halbert talks about “The Halbert Index.”

It’s a great “slap in the face way” to wake up and get your day started off right.

See you next time,

Jason Leister
Editor, The Client Letter
Creating Success for Independent Professionals
ClientsSuck.net

P.S. Want better clients? Try this.