The Client Letter
April 19, 2013
The Northland
Snow 35 Degrees
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Let’s go on a little journey today… into the Land of Fear.
That’s a place I’ve gotten to know pretty well over the years. Particularly a little spot on the western coast called “Scared to Death Point.”
Imagine hearing a client say, “You’re fired!”
Think about what that would feel like.
Kind of scary isn’t it? Can’t you just feel the knot in your stomach?
Have you ever thought about why that happens?
It’s fear right?
As service providers, we tend to make a lot of stupid decisions with clients because we’re scared. Scared of screwing up. Scared of being told to get lost. Scared of being called out.
We’ll do most anything to avoid this. In fact, we will make ourselves miserable to avoid it.
Fear like this is not good. Not good for you and ultimately, a real disservice to your client.
So here’s an exercise to put in your toolkit that might help:
Next time you get a new client, start off with a little movie in your head where you screw up and end up getting yourself fired.
Yes, you role play in your head you getting fired by the client. Really stew in that a bit and take a moment to be in that sucky feeling.
You’re feeling like a loser. The client just told you “your services would no longer be required” or something else just as elegantly harsh.
What happens after you get fired? The movie’s not over right? What’s the next scene? Picture that.
If there is a next scene to your movie, that means something important didn’t happen. What didn’t happen?
You didn’t die. You’re still alive. Which means you survived it. You survived “the worst.”
You just lived through it. Your mind has no idea it wasn’t “real.” Not if you drew the picture and added the emotion.
So now you can start your new client relationship being real. That means you say what you mean and do what you do because you no longer have incentive to avoid being YOU. You’re not afraid of getting rejected. You just were! So now the pressure’s off.
Being scared of a client is a surefire way to screw up your chances of a long term relationship.
Either you’re going to wear yourself out, or your client is going to get tired of paying the “fake” you to do things.
How can you serve someone if you’re scared to death of the power you think they wield over you?
That’s not service, that’s servitude. And that’s not the business you’re in.
Clients don’t control you. Fear controls you. Fear of getting fired. Fear of being told you didn’t do it right. Fear of having your worst nightmare confirmed: that someone else will find out you’re small and weak and not important.
Get the fear out of the way first. Then you’re free to play big.