The Desert of Arizona
Sunny 50 Degrees
It’s not hard to spot people who have confidence in themselves. Given the training the system has installed in most people, truly confident people are kind of rare.
By “truly” confident, I mean those who exude a quiet power. I don’t mean the stereotypical male bravado type of confidence that is usually just a mediocre attempt to cover up serious insecurity.
When you are confident, you are no longer broadcasting a signal of need.
Confidence comes from two things:
- Taking full responsibility for everything in your life. (Literally everything.)
- Demonstrating to yourself you are worthy of confidence.
When you take full responsibility for EVERYTHING in your life, you OWN it. When you make a commitment like that, you don’t care about what others think. You aren’t afraid of them finding out your “secrets.” You don’t really have to have reality go a certain way. Because no matter what happens, you know you’ll ACCEPT IT FULLY.
That’s the beginning of confidence. That’s the kernel of truth from which it grows.
Do that and then you move onto the second part, which is dealing with the ego.
Now we’ve all been gifted with an ego. And it’s hard to sneak confidence past that little sucker. The ego isn’t interested in positive thinking or daily affirmations. The ego wants proof.
In the absence of proof, it starts telling you how it’s going to be:
“Why should you be confident in yourself? You’re not a bazillionaire. You’re not even that good looking! Sit down and let someone else who is more deserving take the confident role.”
That’s how devious the ego can be. It knows all your soft spots and it’s not afraid to hit them.
Some people can detach from the ego enough to remove its power. But for the rest of us, hard proof is a better way to go.
By “proof” I mean showing the ego you are worthy of having confidence in yourself by doing things others can’t do or won’t do.
Over time, you build up such a preponderance of proof, your ego has no choice but to sit quietly in the corner and allow the REAL you to take charge.
Creating a media platform is just one way to provide the proof. Do I know what I’m talking about when it comes to being an Incomparable Expert? Well, here’s 5 years of proof to look at. For me, that’s been more than enough to satisfy my ego, so it leaves me alone.
The bottom line is that you can’t force yourself to have confidence in yourself. You might be able to do it for a day or two, but eventually, you’ll shrink back to the normal you.
Like clients, you don’t pursue confidence directly. The harder you try, the faster it runs away.
Instead, you create the conditions where confidence becomes a natural byproduct.