Mountains of Arizona
Chilly and Clear 20 Degrees
7:16 a.m.
I spent years resisting my flow.
Most of those years, I was not aware of my “flow.”
But even after I started to notice it, to see how certain parts of the world naturally flowed to me, I still resisted.
More accurately, a PART of me resisted.
I wanted all of the things that somehow always remained beyond my grasp. But I was on a mission to get them.
This mission was attractive to my “have to be in control” left brain…
It was attractive to my internal wounded child who wanted to “show them” he could do it…
It was attractive to the training I’d received to want so much that is not right for me to have…
It was attractive to the scared and lonely part of me that finds safety in control…
You might call this part of me the ego. I’m not so interested in the label because most labels we’ve been taught like that one are offered as a form of limitation and control, not as a pathway to truth.
But I’m speaking about that part of you that is never satisfied (and not in a good way) with what IS.
This isn’t really YOU, it’s just a part of YOU that’s been programmed. But we have to deal with it or it deals with us.
During my years of resistance, I wanted to build a big business, even though my flow brought me very successful people to serve in very small numbers.
During my years of resistance, I wanted to follow in the footsteps of certain successful people, even though my flow was showing me I was to stop following anyone and instead provide the world with tools and resources for each human to follow himself or herself.
During my years of resistance, I wanted to “be in the club” even though my flow was showing me that my path was a journey of one.
All of this resisting creates an enormous dissonance with what IS. In my experience, it makes life a real struggle. And it’s very noisy.
But then one day, I stopped resisting. And everything began to shift.
I did not “overcome” this dissatisfied part of me, I simply figured out how to integrate its charge.
In other words, it ran out of energy and was absorbed.
This new state I might refer to as peace.
You don’t find peace. You are the source of it. You literally create it.
You can spend your entire life resisting YOU if you choose. There’s no right or wrong in the decision you make, there is only alignment with the REAL you or the lack of it.