The Desert of Arizona
Sunny 36 Degrees
On the way to Whole Foods yesterday to get some food, I saw a guy sitting outside the store with his dog. As we pulled into the parking lot, I saw another customer get out of her car and give him some food.
I went in, did my shopping, and added a sandwich (a Chicken Caesar wrap) to my order to hand to the guy on the way out.
As I was about to roll down the window to deliver the grub, I was finally able to read the sign he was holding up. I must have missed it the first time.
It said, “Hungry Vegan.”
Now what I’m about to say might make me look like a vile human being. But I’m OK with that in the interest of being honest. Because I surely learned something yesterday and I’m hoping to pass it on to you.
Frankly, reading that sign and realizing he didn’t want my sandwich, created a pretty odd reaction inside me. So I just drove away.
Now I’ve never been homeless, or even hungry, so to put myself in his shoes is difficult, if not impossible.
But that doesn’t change the feeling I got. It was one part bewilderment, a little bit of annoyance and a hefty dose of trying to laugh at the oddities of life. I started thinking about how odd it feels when someone expresses need and then dictates the terms about what they want.
That’s his choice to do, of course, but I’m focusing on the FEELING it generated in me, without really thinking. Why would I care what he wants? I don’t. But the dynamic of expressing need and then clarifying the list of acceptable solutions created a bizarre reaction.
(Clearly, I have plenty of development to do as a human being, but that’s for another time!)
Anywho… Service providers do this with clients and create the EXACT same feeling.
When you express need to “get a client,” showing up and asking for high fees or expecting them to follow your advice or meet some other “demand” can create a bizarre emotional dynamic. This is not what you want prospective clients and current clients feeling.
Think how that would feel if YOU were the client. The service provider comes up to you and basically says, “I NEED you to hire me now… and you’re going to pay dearly for it too!” As I said, that would be bizarre.
That’s why we go to so much trouble to eradicate the feeling of need from your being. It’s attractive in the business world, and it just makes for a much happier ride through life.
Not feeling needy creates an enormous amount of power.
You might have to fake it at the beginning. But eventually, that feeling becomes your normal state of being.
And it’s from that lack of need that you can TRULY serve your clients.