Compliment Deflection Syndrome

The Client Letter
July 30, 2013
Sunny 63 Degrees

Growing up, I never learned how to receive a compliment.

All I could ever do was deflect it. “Oh Jason, that piece you just played was so beautiful…” they’d say.

I’d stumble around and utter something about how “it was fun,” or some other lame statement that was a result of how uncomfortable attention like that made me.

For some reason my reactive response was to:

1. Downplay the accolade.
2. Dismiss the accolade as nothing special.

What I realize now is that doing stuff like this is being a very poor steward of one of the greatest gifts you can receive in this world: the genuine appreciation of another human being.

Don’t rob other people of the satisfaction of giving someone like you a great gift.

It’s rude to them and an extreme disservice to YOU.

And I did it for a very long time.

Like when I won the music competition…

Like when I won first prize at the science fair…

Like when I got straight As in school…

Like when I got the church job and beat out people way older than me…

Like when I said “to hell with the job world” and struck out on my own…

And it goes on.

The fact is, I can do things that no other human being I know can do.

I’d bet you’re the same. Oh maybe you haven’t figured out what those things are or maybe you have. The point is that in the client business, this crap of downplaying your greatness must stop if you’re ever going to get rid of that “I suck” feeling.

You never have to say those words out loud, because people around you can FEEL them. They can feel if you think you don’t deserve to be there.

Do you know what happens to your life and business when you walk around feeling the truth about what a gift you are to the world?

You start to act like someone different… like someone better… like the BIG self that you were sent here to be.

These days, my goal is to take a compliment in, say thank you, and sit for a moment in the feeling of great gratitude for what I have in life.

The fact is, I am blessed beyond measure. And so are you.

Whether or not we choose to fully receive those blessings is a choice each of us must make on a moment by moment basis.

But our choice doesn’t affect whether or not those blessings exist. They’re there either way.

This is one of the reasons I publish the Rainmaker Letter. Each month, I do my best to REMIND you about who you are and why you are here.

I’m not telling you anything you don’t know. I’m only bringing into focus things you may have temporarily forgotten.

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