Playing Hard to Get Like You Mean It

February 15, 2012
Sedona, Arizona

It’s not fun to work with a client who thinks they own you. Or one who thinks that your job is to prove to them every minute of the day that you are worth the money they invested in your services.

That kind of relationship with a client just isn’t healthy for anyone.

So what can you do about it?

Well, understand that in a situation like that, what’s really missing is a healthy respect for you in the client’s mind.

One possible cause for this is that you lack respect for yourself and the client is simply reflecting that back at you.

I’m sure that happens a lot.

Another possible cause is that you made it a bit too easy for the client to work with you.

Things that are easy to get are generally valued less than those that are harder to get.

So ask yourself…

Do clients have to jump through any “hoops” in order to work with you, or are you simply “around” and “available,” waiting for any client who comes along?

I don’t think there’s any perfect combination, but setting up a few “hoops” is definitely something to consider if you attract clients who don’t seem to respect you.

The premise I operate under (that I have yet to see disproven via my experience) is that generally, people want what they cannot have.

So to the extent that you make yourself a bit harder to get, and a bit less eager to please, the more clients will want to pursue you.

This is not always the case, but generally I’d say it is. It’s totally weird if you ask me.

Is this a silly game?

Maybe sometimes. But we’re working with human beings in this business. And human beings can be silly. And human beings often play games.

It’s your choice if you want to play the way the game’s been played for centuries or if you want to pick-up your marbles and complain that the game isn’t played how you want to play.

Ultimately, the respect a client has or does not have for you comes from you. You either exude self-respect to such a degree that the client can’t help but to fall in line… OR you use some “tools” like the one above to jumpstart the process.

Eventually, you start to believe in yourself, and you begin to repsect yourslef to the point that it’s obvious to everyone just how valuable you really are.

Then your actions change. You realize that your value far exceeds the fees you are paid and you act like it.

That’s when you start to play “hard to get” in a 100% authentic way. You are hard to get because you respect yourself so much that you’re no longer willing to invest a portion of your life working with just anyone.

See you next time,

Jason Leister
Editor, The Client Letter
Creating Success for Independent Professionals
ClientsSuck.net