Mountains of Arizona
Clear 52 Degrees
4:11 p.m.
As best I can recall, I spent from 2002 until about 2015 looking for success. The search was particularly hot and heavy (and rocky!) from about 2009 – 2012.
I know that “searching for success” feeling well.
It’s an emotional wave I can best describe as some combination of constant dissatisfaction mixed with a recurring burst of focus and excitement for future possibility. Totally bizarre.
Over and over and over again I rode that wave.
During this time, I was looking for answers.
I learned conscious connected breathing. I studied with a Celtic shaman. I learned chaos magic. I sat in sweat lodges. I meditated. I practiced shamanic journeying. I looked into various divination tools from runes to Tarot to Ogham sticks. I read every business and “self-help” (ha!) book I could find. I got reading after reading from a long list of esoteric modalities.
Success was out there and I was going to find it!
It’s kind of funny that I did all this work to “find success,” and had no idea what was really going on.
I just lucked into figuring out the path.
You don’t “find success.”
You change you and “success” shows up.
I changed FIRST.
What does “success” feel like?
It doesn’t feel like anything. Kind of funny I searched so hard for something that feels like nothing.
But that’s my experience. The “searching for success” wave collapses and then you develop an internal stillness.
Without a projected story from your mind, success feels like nothing.
Looking back, I now know that I could have collapsed that wave myself. Developed the stillness FIRST. And then watched as reality reorganized itself around me to match.
But oh well. Apparently I needed the remedial class!
So what do you do in the absence of this drive to “find success?”
You wake up each day and embody gratitude for all that is.